Saturday, January 9, 2010

Constant Love/Hatred refocusing

I am thinking how I should decide and/or choose between some extremes, even after I know that each extreme has its drawbacks. These are some examples:
  • I choose Love, but Money is necessary to solve my Needs ;
  • Money is power, and people Loves me, until I have no money ;
  • You must Think and plan, but it promotes Inertia ;
  • You should Act or create, but then you will suffer for all Mistakes you will commit ;
  • When you do something the first time it feels like Excitement, but if you do it eight hours daily, then it feels like Job ;
  • Luck or Destiny: Even if they are different, in none of them your future is unknown: you assume it ;
  • Happiness or Meaning: you must forget one if you want to get to the other ;
  • Peace or Justice: In Watchmen movie, Rorschach's day book will do Justice revealing the truth, even after Peace was achieved.

Also, there are things that cut in my goals: Fatigue, Boredom, Headaches, Pressure. I have many wishes, I think about them too much. It is necessary to think, plan, and exercise, but that promotes inertia. I need to get Harder, Stronger, Faster, Better; but if I lose many matches, I also lose motivation.

These are some reflections those cut-in things:

Pressure: I'll elaborate well-founded responses, either if it's possible for me or not.
Headaches: It is because I think too much. No mind.
Fatigue: copy + paste / find + replace
Boredom: Improve your natural speed. It can be funny.

Even though all of these conclusion, my motivation still keeps asleep. In Pluto manga, Dr. Tenma woke up an AI by using extreme feelings. Which extremes will awaken my motivation? I will try to find them!

My list of extreme started this way:
  • Money: you can get whatever you want with enough money.
  • Desire of programming: I feel good when I program.
  • Essential Complexity: As you add more features to a program, it starts to become complex.
  • Importance of People: even though, programs must be helpful and useful.
  • Solve Problems: a program must solve a problem
  • Infinite Options: but amount of options increase as time passes by.
  • Updatable Solution: an existent solution might be hard to upgrade.
  • Time: improvement is possible, but it will take time.
  • Price: nothing in life is free. Time is the universal payment method.
  • Feelings: these are another form of payment. Your sufferings.
  • Hatred! You are really sure of things you don't want or hate, although "nothing good is born from hatred"
  • Love! Happy=Blind. To live for an illusion. The best path is not defined, but it seems it exists. Luck? Destiny? Faith?

Hatred+Love! (They pull and/or push our "cart") You must define where is your Love and your Hatred in every situation of your life! For example, right now my Love is in my Art, and my Hatred is Vagrancy. And at least one of those two extremes can be easily refocused.

Now I'm thinking about it, the constant or cyclical refocus of Love/Hatred, their intertwined relation although being opposite; and the fact that there is a good point of view inside a bad act, these facts only remind me of a special circular shape for me: Yin-Yang. Even though Yin Yang does not explicitly shows the reassignment of Love/Hatred, its circular shapes and sine division of halves, prompts constant oscillation or revolution.

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