Insecurity within opportunities

I got a dream in where I was looking for rum and a lime soda. I was drinking with a group of people and then the rum was gone. I decided to look for the rum, and people from the group said me to bring a bi-liter of lime soda. Wherever I went, I found either half-empty bottles, or not bottles at all, even though they sell another types of drinks. I also recall there was a lot of party in the way with people (and specially women) dancing. I went into more or less five mini-delis and in none of them I found it, but in the last one I found a blue drink and a coconut soda.

My first impression about this dream was this: I will search for something, and Iwill find something I never imagined, and it will seemingly match with my situation and I must decide if I will take it, keep searching, or quit it all.

I'm reading Bakuman. Chapter 34 is a very good one. In this one, Mashiro receives an "early chance" from Miho. Although he obviously rejected it, he still thought hard about that opportunity. Many times we also receive unexpected chances, and we keep wondering if we should take them or not. Luck or Fate? It seems that we need to learn to enjoy to fail and choose between alternatives.

But then, what about time I lose while I commit my mistakes? What about all misinterpretations that will eventually occur by trials and errors? Even if I learn to withstand pain while working toward a goal (e.g. Art), that knowledge won't help me when I decide to go to catch another goal (e.g. Love), although that previous knowledge can be solace.

It seems that in life, we need to live inside middle terms. If that is so, then why do we need to choose? Possibly to eternally remember ourselves to live in middle terms. Whatever the situation I need to make a choice, normally one choice is possible. Well, if you have to choose between two bad alternatives, choose the better one! I took this idea from Thiaoouba Prophecy eBook. That book treats about a planet inhabited by highly evolved people who look like they always receive good news (I think they look always happy). In that book also I recalled something about human memory: Humans easily forget...

We humans have books and computers to help us with memory, and cell phones, ipods, internet to feel happy everyday... but that fact about choosing between two bad alternatives is something very evil, diabolical, bizarre, devilish, ...

Also, even if we make either the better or the worse choice, in the future (commonly near future) will appear a better alternative that we "magically" or "idiotically" ignored before. Should I feel happy because I can see that alternative, or sad because I couldn't see it before? Well, I think a very good purpose of life is constant evolution and improvement, so it should be obvious that we will be able to do things tomorrow that are inimaginable today. I just remember when I said I will never blog...

From Thiaoouba Prophecy and The Freedom Of Choice book I read the theory of "Life is a test", that our soul come to life in order to test its spiritual capabilities. If that is so, then what subject in "life career" are we trying to pass or flunk? In what moment did we forget we are in a test? Maybe at birth? They said humans easily forget...

We are not sure about what kind of things do we want, but we are very sure of things that we really don't want! Luck or Fate? Are there unbeatable limits? Possible Vs. Probable.

You can't determine neither on which spiritual level you really are, nor which level you should head for; but you can surely determine what things you don't want and don't like. Granted, sometimes you need to destroy in order to improve, but there are also very extremist people who only think to destroy.

My mom, Gladys, was talking about housework, and I got interested to find out where her motivation to act comes from. She started answering this:

- When I'm not in good mood to work, I sleep a little. Then, when I wake up, I recall things that I need to do, and after a moment, I start doing them.
- What kind of things do you think about to motivate yourself to act? - I asked.
- I think only in what I need to do.
- Only that? And by art of magic that motivation appears?
- Yes

The thing that excite you to think should be very similar to the one that will excite you to act! This is highly probable, and so I have a question: Why (in MY case) is the desire to think easier to achieve than the desire to act?

I read a japanese proverb that says "Every morning, gazelles know they need to run faster than the slowest gazelle one to prevent lions to catch them; Every morning, lions know they need to run faster to catch the slowest gazelles; Moral of fable: No matter if you are gazelle or lion, run!" I made an analogy between this proverb and my philosophy of Yin-Yang. This is my idea:

"Every good action I make may have a bad point of view inside of it; Every bad action I make may have a good point of view; Moral of fable: No matter what kind of action you do, have a point of view! As long as it's related to Love and/or Improvement, just do it!"

Funny side note: while I was writing this entry, a fly landed on my screen. I played with the fly with my mouse. When I put my mouse closer to the fly, that fly funnly goes away the pointer!! LOL